3 months of breastfeeding

Just about three months ago, I told myself just fully bf baby for 3 months, then start him on formula.

Why I said that?

Because I thought my supply was low. Right from the beginning I direct latch Matty since birth. It started out right at the beginning.The nurse squeeze my breast after giving birth and I saw the wonderful yellow liquid! The brought baby Matty to me and he latched immediately (correct latch too).

He suckle for a damn long time from first night. Whenever he cries I nurse till I am too tired and the nurse will bring him away.  Maybe because I had to take painkiller for my episiotomy, I didn't feel pain from breastfeeding. Second day, my nipples were sore and I was still CONSTANTLY latching baby, even at home.

When he was 3-weeks-old, I was crying almost every. My nipples hurt damn bad. I had milk blisters. My breasts feel soft all the time and I thought Matty wasn't having enough because he was always yelling for my boobs. I ignored his cry, I yelled at my mum and husband to make formula milk all the time. I was badly sleep deprived (probably now too).

My mum is from a generation where formula milk was promoted to be better than breastfeeding. She has very little knowledge on it. Despite her own initial belief that formula milk is the same or maybe better, she supported me in my bf journey. She listened to my explanations and followed my instructions on how to handle breastmilk. She even read up on confinement recipe for breastfeeding mothers before Matty was born. Whenever I want to give up she just told me to go on a bit more since I almost reached a month. My hubby was supportive too and refused to give fm even when I begged him to do so. He waited till I calm down a little and brought the poor crying baby to me and I remember him saying "Matty says 'sorry', he promised to be a good boy and be nice to mummy when he grows up."

My hubby's two grandmas came and when they heard I am breastfeeding they said 人奶很好！

towards the end of October, this was my night output (both breasts combined). I took this picture because this was the first time I can actually see milk in the bottle. Usually just a few drops.

This was my first bag which I put in the freezer. Was so damn happy I took picture of it :)

I still felt I am a low-supply mummy because others are pumping at least 100ml per session. Some can go up to 400ml per session. However, it is not low-supply. I am providing just enough for my baby because I direct-latch him. I did not pump to stimulate more milk but only pump once a day after his last feed at night. Pumping amount is NOT the actual amount you are producing.

Few days ago I pump because we were trying to bottle feed baby. Each pump session about 10-15mins. Still not that impressive 400ml some mummies produced. However, I do not have frequent engorged problems.

After 1 month, I was one of the lucky mummies to have a breastmilk keepsake handmade by Ryo, just need to pay for the materials and courier fee. I also order a customised locket from her.

I received the parcel yesterday with two fabulous boxes.

This is the first keepsake Ryo "experimented" on. Lovely milk swirl charm and jade with gold flakes charm tinted with my breastmilk.

A brushed locket with Matty's name, and the cross to show the faith I put in God to provide the best for my son. It is difficult to tell if Matty is having enough by just direct latching, so I prayed about it.

Here's Matty, growing strong and healthy!

Matty is 2 month-old!

Our dearest son is 2 month old!! Looking at his height he doesn't look new born anymore. He is wearing clothes range from 3 month to 9 month! 

Milestones

Started drooling

Making saliva bubbles

Getting choke on saliva after playing with it

Nom nom his hands or anything near his mouth

Always looking out for mummy

Getting distracted during feeding

Giving rare smiles and rarer laugh ( he is one serious boy!)

Saying "ah goo" and "wooo" and other cooing sounds

Loves looking at the crib mobile

Talking to himself in the mirror

Hates tummy time and refused to lift himself up now

Starting to bring him out, only to places with nice nursing rooms because I still don't dare to feed in public. His grandmummy bought him a blue sweater at Changi Airport. Handsome?

Matthias - gift from God

IIt has been almost 2 months since I gave birth but did not have the time to update in my blog. 

I had a smooth and painless labour (I had epidural at 2cm) on 7th Oct. Baby's head was big but he managed to get out somehow. I just let the Nurses and Doctors do what they need to do and follow instructions. I did not prepare myself much for labour. I took two naps. Was woken up the second time to know that I can start pushing as I was 10cm dilated! Even when I was pushing I could not feel anything but somehow I managed to use the correct muscle to push.

My gynae is Dr Tan YG from Raffles Hospital. I didn't suffer any pain from the episiotomy, his stitching skill is really good. I am very whiny and have Low tolerance of pain so I am glad the healing process from birth have been rather painless. The Nurses are very friendly and they are supportive of breastfeeding of course. Love how they make husbands bathe the babies! Giving thumbs up for birth experience at Raffles Hospital.

My confinement went by smoothly, with my mum helping me out. I miss her cooking during pregnancy, so I have no complains on my confinement except I will never order confinement tingkat again. I prefer my mum's cooking. 

Did I lose weight after giving birth? Only lost half, 6 kg to go to reach pre pregnancy weight. Under my mum's care she doesn't allow me to eat normal portion; I have to eat giant meals. My mil also prepare soup for me, how to lose weight with all the good food? However my tummy was almost flat (just flabby) by the first week. I did not do any post-natal massage because no money. Breastfeeding helps me to burn off those extra fats. Matty is an aggressive drinker too. Still, I need to exercise soon to get rid of the flabby part left.

Breastfeeding - need to blog about this next time. Shed so much tears over it. Haha! Don't worry, my post natal blue is over.

Oh, I wasn't prepared to spent so much shopping online during confinement. Baby can nurse up to more than an hour hence the excessive usage of mobile phone to shop. In my Defence, I bought things I needed for nursing! Not for myself!

I think my baby is growing too fast. I don't mind rewinding back to the time I first heard his cry and having him in my arms for the first time. I haven't sleep for more than 4 hours since giving birth. Mostly one hour naps or less. However I enjoyed every moment with my boy.

"Waiting for Matty" photoshoot

Have been thinking about taking maternoty photoshoot for a long time. After searching when is the best time to take outdoor photoshoot, found out ladies find it comfortable doing it between 27 weeks to 32 weeks (when tummy is reasonably big enough, yet not that tiring to move around).

A brief account of my pregnancy experience: I was feeling terrible for the first two trimesters, vomiting my way till the 28th week. A lot of whining, crying and horrible puking stories. The name "Matthias" popped into my dream at week 6 and I did not even know the gender then! He is a precious gift from God indeed, and we decided to go with this name.

At 30 weeks + 6days, we did our photoshoot with Zhi Xun as our photographer (Zoo proposal pictures). I was kind of worried he would reject a last minute assignment, or perhaps felt that I was "over-prepared" and "over-requested". Fortunately, he was pretty enthusiastic about it and even gave suggestions where to go based on what I have in mind.

We were blessed with a beautiful sunny morning. We went to Lower Pierce Reservoir where we took a few casual prewedding pictures about 2 years ago. Then, we went to the nearby Springleaf Nature Park to take some shots. Both parks were really small but we had so much fun using the props and thinking of poses, the photoshoot took slightly more than 2 hours.

Baby was a good boy that morning and did not give me any painful kicks or punches. I think he was enjoying his morning nap while was walking around the park. Or maybe he was enjoying the outdoor:)

Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows. - James 1:17

Our first BFP

I have a happy news to share:

We are going to have a baby!!

After one year of no period I thought I will need to wait longer to try for a baby. So there was no symptom in the first couple of weeks. I was on two rounds of different antibiotics due to a minor eyelid surgery and a UTI that follows after. I was clueless I am having something growing inside me.

After having no period for a year, everyone asked me how I knew I was pregnant at week 4. It started with  dream early in the morning- I was looking at a pregnancy kit with a faint line. When I went to work, my boss said I was glowing. Later that late afternoon, a student pretending to be a doctor told me there is a baby inside me. At night, I broke a bottle of red wine. After linking all these events together, my husband asked me to take the test and viola! A positive line!

Let's ukulele!

Bought a concert ukulele last month. The first week was extremely painful for my poor three fingers. I chose a ukulele so I can bring to class for music lessons.

I am a slow learner. Managed to play a decent G now. Here are a few simple pop songs I picked to learn first:
The Show
When you're gone (aka cups)
Love story
What a Wonderful World

Ukutab.com is a wonderful website to learn. They organised songs by difficulty level and the tabs follow as you scroll down so I do not need to keep referring to the top on finger placement.

Kids song are a lot more difficult than pop song because they are short and fast. I am trying Santa Claus is coming to Town now.

I brought my ukulele to class and they were thrilled! I taught them how to strum and play C. Their poor fingers were in pain after the lesson. They tried to pull my ukulele apart, being curious about the strings and knobs and all.

Hopefully I can be good enough to play songs for my students one day.

October birthdays

Celebrated two October babies in the Sin family today. Ended up having slight diarrhea because i had too much dessert.

A picture of the Sin family:)

So, you got where you need to be...

Please remember the people who helped you to where you are now. Not to mentioned those who wish you well despite the hurtful things you did to them. Be grateful they did not curse you or try to backstab you when they could have.

Take this moment and look back for awhile...

Have you forgotten to thank someone?

After one year of being Mrs..

Exactly a year ago, we were in Taiwan taking our bridal photoshoot after ROM. That was still the relatively carefree part of our lives. Then, I did not know the wedding reception was going to be even busier than the ROM.

It has been a year since we said our vows (the very last minute vow which we just copy and paste from the internet the night before the ROM). So how is this newlyweds doing? Still loving and arguing every now and then like any other couple. 

I decided to blog about what I have been battling with since half a year ago.

The hormone treatment is a horrible process! I am at the last lap of the second 3-month dosage, but I probably need to wait another painful half a year or more before we can try to have a baby. The mood swing is terrible. I feel like snapping at every single person who pissed me off. I perspire once the temperature hits 24 degree C. Sometimes, I feel I will melt even if I am at the middle of North Pole. The worst part was the depression which I hate to admit I have it. I will cry over blunt comments and take offense in every criticism.It is as if the whole world hates me.

And the worst of the worst issue is the thought of having a baby. I feel like I can wait no more and I want to give up. To make matter worst, friends around my age or younger are getting married. The Facebook newsfeed shows their happy faces of "positive" news and beautiful baby bumps - and most of them were married less than 6 months or were married after me. 

Don't get me wrong, I am really happy for them and I pray for their happiness and their new journey into parenthood. However,moments later, I will be pouring bucket of tears on the bed. When my husband comes home, I will cry and beg him to delete the facebook account for me or reset the password (which he never do despite agreeing to it). Why I did not delete the account myself, you ask? Hormones should be a good answer. As I mentioned, I cry over shittest-illogical matters.

I prayed every night, asking God will we be ready once this whole horrible injections stuff is gone from my body. I stare at the calender everyday. The wait is painful.

I am very thankful for my colleagues. They knew I wanted a baby and assured me all these I am going through is pretty common. The teachers welcome me to carry the babies in the infant care. The Aunty will carry the cutest and fattest baby and say my baby will look chubby too next time if I always carry them now- if I want a girl carry a girl, if I want a boy carry a boy, if I want twins carry twins (how I wish such choice were so easy to get). They were concern for my health and despite the leaves. I always fear I would be sacked if I continue falling sick but the director and principal were very understanding. I never lost a single temper at work or with the kids despite the sever mood swings, because everyone there is always happy.

My husband wants the baby, probably looking forward more than me. He is a lot more patient in waiting and handling my mood swings at the same time. I cannot ask for a better husband than him. While people say there is a honeymoon period after marriage, we have been struggling with my nightmare tantrums and nothing was honeymooney about our first married year. We focus on the bright side of life and use this as an opportunity to make full use of our time together to bond and know each other better.

If you are reading this and you are going through the same thing as me right now, I am the one who is also praying everyday for a baby, you're not the odd one out amongst your friends.

Fast forward

Never update since the proposal because we were so busy with the new house, wedding preparation and work projects.

It has been two months since the customary wedding. Despite us not putting a lot of time in the planning, everything went surprisingly-smooth that day.

Our wedding - 1 March 2014, Saturday

5am - woke up (bridesmaids did not have enough sleep because they were preparing the materials)

6am - Gate crash (they were late but managed to play almost all the games)

The very beautiful bridesmaids and "poor" groomsmen (they had to fork out a lot of money that day).

7am -  left for groom's house

8.30am - head to new house to take pictures

Changed into the kua for second tea ceremony at MBS

12.30pm - Change hair style and back to white gown

1.15pm - Our grand march-in

1.50pm - Change gown and hair style. 

MBS brings food to the bride and groom who are waiting for the second march-in. AWESOME!

My mua is Yoovy Tan. She is so pretty and patient. Everybody loves my hair do that day!

 Quickly take some shots in my favourite gown.

 Our thank-you speech. I had to pause a few times and rush through at the end because I was close to tears.

 Who is the next bride?

My nephew stole the limelight that day. He was super duper cute; running up and down the stage in his suit.

Photographer of the day was Leon Tham. He is very friendly and he managed to capture important moments even though he was alone. My sister in law's boyfriend took some amazing pictures too.

Our pre-wedding pictures...

5 gowns and 5 suits for 1-day photography. Very friendly service and memorable trip to Taichung, by Star Asia.

See the 5 different looks I had for one day of photo-taking session.

Local Photoshoot

By French Bridal

 This was our "main" wedding picture. We love this picture so much!

Bride's regrets

You don't get to plan wedding everyday. It is a once in a lifetime moment. There's bound to be regrets if you do not plan properly. God heard our prayers and our actual day was pretty smooth. Here are some which I hope no bride has to go through

1. I put work above anything else - Maybe this is the main reason that led to other regrets. I was trying to be good at everything but started to perform badly at work for some reason. I was so frustrated and decided to put all my energy on work. In the end, I was too tired to plan for my wedding. It led to many bad decisions, mental breakdowns, poor health, a lot of arguments...
2. I just walked into a bridal shop and sign a package - Only during the wedding planning you will get to try the gowns and dresses. This is the most FUN part of the wedding preparation. My advice is to try gowns at different shops till you find the gowns you love and the service you are comfortable with. Trying gowns is FREE, and not to mention.. FUN!
3. No theme for the wedding -  Hollywood movies, fairytales, Disney, Save-the-Earth, Blue, Gold and pink, storybook, music, games, Mario... These are the many themes we thought of, BUT... we did not have any theme in the end.
   Usually the package has the basic things covered and my husband want to stick with those. Sticking to a theme usually becomes "ala-carte", which also means more money. Well, since we have no time to plan according to budget and we do not want to spend too much money so we just went with what the hotel and bridal shop provided.
4. No wacky videos or did anything extraordinary - My wedding was just another customary wedding. I like exciting stuff and wanted to create memorable reception for our family and guests. I wanted the wedding to not focus on the bride and groom, but a time to celebrate love.
   I initially wanted to do a funny music video with friends, or to record short love stories of family and friends and showcase on the wedding day. We didn't even have a videographer that day (Thank Goodness our photographer was pretty good).
   I had the bridesmaids and groomsmen to join us for the second march-in. I asked my friend, Grace, to sing during the second march-in, which everyone enjoyed her singing. Appreciate their efforts to participate in this, at least a tiny-special something for our wedding to remember by...
5. Engaged the worst photobooth service ever - Brides have this gut-feeling whether things will be good or bad... I knew they were terrible, but hubby insisted because they came together with the package. I was ready to pay $400 for another photobooth service with unlimited print and they have different layouts for guests to choose with props. The one we engaged go by number of photo papers used instead of the number of hours. The up-side is that they allow us to customise our frame design for free. They wanted us to pay more, because only 100 photo papers included in the free package but hubby insisted that they should give what they promised. They gave in to us. On the actual day, they hid at some corner and did not set up the backdrop, giving the excuse that the backdrop was too small (or big) for the area. Only a few pictures were printed because not many people knew there was a booth and all of us were too busy with the tea ceremony to usher relatives and friends to the booth.

Random wedding facts: 

• The bridesmaids did not meet up till the wedding itself.
  
• First march in music was composed by Jonathan Priest. He sent me the music and did not ask for anything in return. Amazing musician... it was a 1 minute 30sec video and it ended just as we reached the stage (no rehearsal!)
  
• Second march in walking timing screwed up during the rehearsals and we had no time t perfect it. However during the actual march in, the song ended when we reached the stage too. The song my friend sang was "hei bai pei" by Fan Wei Qi

Despite the regrets, my wedding is perfect, and I could not ask for a better one... just being married to the man I love is already the best day of my life. Our family members, bridesmaids and groomsmen did everything to ensure our big day was perfect. Looking forward to the next phase of life...:)

Project Proposal

 He proposed!

In the Singapore Zoo!

It was such a big surprise and I was thrilled to see my friends witnessing the day I say "yes", or rather I whispered "okay" through my tears.

2 months ago he searched for the ring and was trying to plan a proposal. Then a month again he collaborated with the girls to plan how to execute this in the Zoo. 

We both had a really busy, stressful week, staying up late almost every night. I was looking forward to our date in the Zoo for some fun time together.

Of course, things do not go as planned. Initially I was supposed to feed the giraffe and he would poke me with the stuff toy giraffe and asked me to feed him with love, then pull out the ring.
 

When the Zoo keeper announce only four trays left, my boyfriend decided to let the tourists behind go first, explaining that they will only be in Singapore once, but we can come back anytime again. So I eagerly agreed as the lions were roaring and I wanted to see what they were up too.

I rushed to the lions, not noticing I passed people I know and a group of friends frantically shuffling behind the bushes, trying to stay out of my sight.

He came to me and took out (the sweater first, it was placed inside incase I decided to open his bag) the stuff toy giraffe, and said "I'm sorry you did not feed the giraffe. Do you want to feed this one?" Then he took out a ring box.

I thought he was joking or being sarcastic and laughed. Then I saw my friend jumped out with flowers and the photo board and I screamed "You serious arh?!!!!"

So to my friends and his sisters, thank you so, so, so much for this sweet surprise.

Plan A failed, but Mission still accomplished!

And thank you to my dearest boyfriend, now officially my fiance. You planned this despite your busy work schedule and gave up a lot of your birthday treats so you can spend time and money on this proposal.  And most importantly, I know you took great effort not to leak any information out with such great planning. Thank you, dearest!